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As I mentioned in my last post my parents celebrated 26 years of marriage. Which to me sounds insane. It's a long time to spent with one person, I can't even begin to imagine. Yet somehow they've made it. 

I've spent the last 21 years being a first hand witness to their marriage and I know that no marriage or relationship is easy or full of smooth sailing times. There's always bumps, always struggles to overcome. It's definitely not like how you see in movie or what you imagine it to be. I know that just by watching them. I didn't need any movie to show me how difficult it can be, I lived in the mist of it. 

It works for them and for my sake along with my brothers sake we couldn't be more grateful. We grew up in a home that no matter what was going on there was love going around regardless of the situations we were in. Their marriage is a great thing and it works for them. 

But just because I grew up in a house were their marriage is an example of a good or healthy one like others will call it. It doesn't mean I want one like theirs. Actually I don't even know if I want to get married at all. 

Say if I were to get married, I would want my marriage to be so different from the one my parents have. I don't see their marriage as something to look up to. I see it as an example of the things I do want and the things I don't. 

I remember being little, looking at my brother and telling him I wouldn't want a life like this. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the way I grew up. It was actually pretty great. But I'm so different from my parents. I'm a lot like them but I'm also very different. So to me, even then I knew this type of life wouldn't be the life for me. And that's perfectly fine. 

To me 26 years is a long time to spend with someone. I have a hard time spend an hour with most people. With an attention span of a gold fish and my easily bored mind I have trouble imaging how anyone can spend years like that together. I get bored uber easily. I can be talking to one guy have be into him today but by tomorrow there may be no guarantees. There have been times when I'm into someone one day and the next i'm not. There are even times that my feelings for a person can go away within a few hours. 

That's just me. My mom had mentioned that maybe I'll find a person who will change all that for me. That may be true. Maybe there is a guy out there who makes forever seem like seconds. A guy who would make all those years, time and effort worth it. But I'm not holding my breath. 

Just know that if there is a guy out there who would can make me even think about forever as something to be excited about then I might just start breaking out in a sweat and hives.

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