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If I ever saw you again I'd tell you how not sorry I am. It probably wouldn't make sense to you at first, but if you thought hard enough you'd get it. We were both way too young to understand what anything meant. We tried to be everything that we weren't at the time. Who even know's if now were those things! All I know is back then, we weren't. We played games that we shouldn't have. We were literally playing with fire and didn't even know it. We made promises we both knew we'd never be able to keep. In a way they were fun to make. But it was young and naive of us to believe we'd ever follow through. 

We put each other in situations we shouldn't have. And it wasn't once or twice it was a few times. Luckily nothing reached the point were things got too far out of our control. We still held the power in our hands. Quite honestly that was our high. Knowing we could do these things to each other and knowing for a fact the other would react in the exact way we wanted them to. 

I'm not afraid to admit the things I did to you. We both know the things you did to me. We liked that though. We got off on it. It was just how we worked. There are things I would never say out loud. Mostly out of respect for you. I know for a fact your doing the same for me. Again it's how we worked. 

The place we grew up, well were most of the growing up happened (the most important part of growing up) happened on a single road. Everything happened within that one road. At least for most of us it happened that way. We have our places. Places where the stories unfolded. Were things came together and fell apart. We're secrets started and where they were buried. Places where we grieved people who we shouldn't have even lost so early in our lives. Places were confessions, about things at that age we shouldn't have even been talking about, came out. A road we left the first chance we got. A place were we're not fond of going back to. It's all happened there.

It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep as I'm writing this. I didn't realize until after I wrote it how many people this pertains to. You would think only one. But really I could say all this. Word for word. To about 5 different people. Thinking about that is pretty crazy to me. It sounds so.. I don't know. Not normal, I guess would be the best way to put it. I don't even talk to half of the people that this pertains to anymore (I probably stopped talking to them before I even left that road) but no matter how much time has passed. Or the things we said and did to each other. Nothing changes the fact that a part of our lives were shared and we're the only ones who know what really happened. We're the only ones with those memories. Us. Those place. Those stories. We will always be the only ones who know.

2 comments

  1. Wow! I can definitely relate to this...
    Loved reading this post, it certainly hit home with me, and the way in which you wrote it was so powerful!

    chloe-steele.blogspot.co.uk

    Chloe x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'm so glad you found it relatable! I'm pretty sure everyone feels this sort of way towards some people from their past. It felt good to write it.

      Brittany x

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