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I didn’t know how to come out and say that it was all becoming too much. Nothing seemed to be going right. So like so many other times I kept quiet when inside I was screaming for an outlet. Screaming for someone, anyone to notice the slight panic I was in. 

But how could I get any help when I was acting like there was a muzzle around my mouth. Worse part is that I put it there to keep from seeming weak, incapable. No one did it to me but myself. So there I was blaming everyone around me because they didn’t notice, when I should have been blaming myself. It wasn't anyone's fault but my own.

No one but you knows the panic you’re in but you. If we want help, we need to speak up. We are not mutes. We have a voice that needs to be raised loud and without mercy. No censoring when it comes to our feelings. Let it be heard whether people like it or not. Are they going to muzzle you? Shut you up? No, they won’t. They might be taken back by what you have to say but they appreciate that you are being honest not only to them but to yourself. Hell if they aren’t then you be proud.

It’s hindering what we do to ourselves. You think it’s self-preserving. Shit I thought I was doing myself a favor by keeping quiet. Thinking that if someone really knew me they will just get me enough to just be able to tell. It was me stupidly not realizing I wasn’t letting anyone know me. How can they know me if they don’t know my struggle.
So let them in, some people may surprise you. You might surprise yourself.   


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