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I was a watching YouTube video on Sunday by Megan Rienks. Now I've been watching her videos for over a year now. During that year I have seen her beauty tutorials, fashion videos and so many more. But today I got to see her as a person. Not the beauty guru that is raved about in the latest seventeen magazine but the girl behind the YouTube channel.

In some of Meghan's videos we have gotten to know her a bit. We knew she dropped out of college because of her being bullied, she shared her bulling story and how it lead to her depression. Well today we got to learn a little more. Actually let me correct myself we learned a lot about her. 

The title of the video is 'My Depression Story' and the first thing that came to my mind is 'what?!?'. Now if you've followed Meghan on any social media you would of seen that during the summer she turned 21 and was living pretty much a dream. From the outside looking in yes it seemed fabulous, she even mentioned she was the happiest shes ever been. Well at least until a few weeks ago. 

I would give you a recap of the video but this type of video just needs to be seen for yourself. 

I'm not a crier but I can honestly say I teared up and if my dad wasn't sitting across the table from me I would of cried because damn she makes you feel it. When she talks about how her life has changed but yet nothing changed you feel her frustration. When she says she's depressed did you see her face and the way she was beginning to cry? Can you hear the strength in the way she talks? 

It's heartbreaking to hear stories like this but it's a reality to so many people. More people than you can imagine. Meghan, a girl who seems to living every 21 year olds dream, a happy go lucky, bubbly girl is the prime example. 

We don't all show the battle we are fighting. But just because we don't show it, and we seem to have it all figured out doesn't mean it's not there. If your struggling with anything it's OKAY. It's okay not to be okay. If you don't feel like smiling today, then don't. Rock that frown girl! If you can't seem to pull yourself out bed then bury yourself in more blankets. Do what you feel you need to do. Don't force yourself. Don't pretend. 

One thing you need to do though is get help. Talk to someone. Tell your parents, your significant other, a friend. Just tell anyone. You do not need to be fighting this battle by yourself. They might not understand everything your feeling but they can help you. Also find things that make you feel a little more like you. 

Who's to say that what your feeling is wrong? Your feelings are as legit as they can get. You may not have control over them but you can learn how to accept it and the help of others. There's no easy or clear way to go about any struggle. Depression, eating disorders, mental health issues, bulling. No one knows how to deal with it, there's no right or wrong way. It is what it is. And that's okay. 


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