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Funny thing about feelings is a lot of the time they aren't returned. One person can feel something and their feelings are never acknowledge. Or maybe the feelings have been acknowledged but ignored. Either way it sucks. 

But for me a lesson that I learned quite recently is that someone may feel these strong feeling for you but if you don't feel the same its okay. I felt a need to try to force the feelings because it seemed wrong that I didn't. How could I have been with this person for 6 months and still not feeling half of what he feels for me. No matter how much I tried nothing would change that we just weren't in the same place. 

What made me feel worse what that he pushed his "love" for me constantly. Making me feel so horrible for not caring in the same way he did. It came to the point where I was drowning in this sea of his love that I no longer wanted. 

His "love" was a burden I no longer wanted to carry. It's sad that's how I felt and I'm not sorry I did. Cause when you push and push your love down someone's throat expect their gag reflexes to kick in into over drive. Mines did and it wasn't a pretty sight. 

When I finally had enough and broke it off I felt horrible for many reasons. But none of those reason included me. I wasn't sad or hurt for myself cause I was happy as shit to finally be free of his suffocating feelings. No, I felt sorry for him. Cause he put all your happiness onto our relationship, cause I knew that once I was gone he'd be left with no one cause he didn't really have anyone to begin with.

I felt terrible that night, but the next day while walking to work I was able to breath again. Really breath. I enjoyed my walk. I finally felt like I was able to enjoy the simply things because with him nothing was simple. By the end of my work day I had finally learned a lesson I didn't even know I needed. I learned that yes it sucked that I couldn't return his feelings but it was okay that I didn't. I wasn't obligated to. I didn't have to. I just didn't feel whatever he were feeling. And you can't force feelings either. 

When it comes to feelings you either do or you don't. It's either there or it's not. You can't make someone feel the same way you do and they can't make you feel something that's not there. 


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